MODALITIES AND LINEAGES

Communal Grief Ritual

We will draw upon the Dagara ritual tradition for communal grieving, introduced to the West during the 1990s by Malidoma and Sobonfu Somé of Dano, Burkina Faso. In his book Of Water and the Spirit, Malidoma writes that Western civilization faces a “sickness of the soul” arising from the violent erasure of traditional lifeways under colonialism.

Although ahlay did not study directly with Ancestors Malidoma or Sobonfu, she is a second-generation student who has learned from teachers who worked closely with them.

We recognize the valid concerns surrounding cultural appropriation and neocolonization. This ritual was offered by Dagara elders in response to the harms of unmetabolized grief, and we experience its practice as essential. We believe the need to practice it outweighs the risk of allowing it to disappear. We remain open to dialogue with the communities most impacted by neocolonization about these concerns.

The ritual also follows the footprints of many teachers, ancestors, beings, and lineages, including Joanna Macy; the professional mourning women of Greece and Italy; the keeners of Ireland and Scotland; the mekonenet of Jewish tradition; Francis Weller; Martin Prechtel; Stephen Jenkinson; whales; and the immense, compounded grief of our times.

Somatics

We will also draw upon embodiment practices carried through the lineages of generative somatics and Staci Haines. These lineages integrate healing and justice through the body.

Through a somatic lens, we understand individual and systemic transformation as interdependent, and we practice toward liberation from the body up.

FACILITATION

ahlay Blakely
She/her
Communal grief tender and songstress
Ancestry: Scandinavian, Polish Ashkenazi, British Isles

Briana Herman-Brand
She/they
Healing justice facilitator
Ancestry: German, Swiss, Scotch-Irish, French, and English

WHEN AND WHERE

February 25–28, 2027

Thursday arrival and start time: 1:00 p.m.
Sunday closing time: 2:00 p.m.

This in-person ceremony will be held on the unceded homelands of the S’Klallam and Twana/Skokomish peoples, in what is now known as Union, Washington.

The address will be provided upon registration.

Applications open in mid-September. Priority Application Deadline Oct 11th, rolling admissions until filled.

APPLICATION

Sliding Scale

$900–$1,300

Registration includes shared lodging, all meals, light snacks, coffee, and tea throughout the ceremony.

Meals begin with dinner on Thursday evening and conclude with our closing lunch on Sunday. Three meals will be served on each full day in between.

Financial Access

We believe the cost of this ceremony should not be a barrier if you feel genuinely called to this work. Registration fees also help ensure that the facilitators, organizers, and many hands making this gathering possible are fairly resourced.

We are committed to making this work accessible to a wide range of communities, particularly cash-poor and working-class people and those engaged in community care, social movements, and frontline work.

We have five pay-what-you-can spaces available.

REFUND POLICY

All registrations are nonrefundable. This policy supports mutual accountability and offers some protection for the facilitators and organizers.

If you are unable to attend after registering, you may find someone to take your place. You may also email Rain to ask whether there is a waitlist. The person replacing you must complete their own registration and connect with our registration team at least seven days before the retreat.

During the final seven days before the retreat, our attention moves away from administrative tasks and screen time and toward preparing for our in-person time together.

COVID POLICY

We ask everyone to test for COVID each day before entering the shared space. Depending on the weather, most of our time together will be indoors. Masks will be optional upon arrival.

LAND AND PHYSICAL ACCESSIBILITY

We want to be transparent about the access limitations of the space so that you can make an informed decision about participating.

Moving between the ritual space, dining hall, and lodging involves several short inclines and declines along dirt, gravel, and cement pathways. There are stairs throughout portions of the property, along with wheelchair-accessible routes into the main gathering spaces.

The main ritual space is located at the top of the driveway and is most easily reached by vehicle drop-off for wheelchair users. Once inside, the ritual space is wheelchair accessible.

The dining hall has ramp access from the driveway. Its ground floor, including two bedrooms and an accessible bathroom, is wheelchair accessible.

One guest lodge has two wheelchair-accessible bedrooms on the ground floor, although vehicle drop-off is needed to reach the entrance. Another guesthouse includes two accessible bedrooms. Two of the cottages are not wheelchair accessible.

We recognize that these limitations may affect your ability to participate, and we hold that with deep care. If you have specific access needs or questions, please reach out. We are committed to doing what we can to support your participation and to continuing to grow our accessibility with accountability.

CARPOOLING

For participants who would like to coordinate carpools or other travel logistics, we will provide a self-organizing spreadsheet as registration begins to fill.

TITHING AND RECIPROCITY

The facilitators are fundshifting $1,000 to The Sonder Project, which supports the Dagara community by constructing wells that provide access to sustainable drinking water. You will also be invited to contribute during registration.

This is one way for Western communities to give back in reciprocity for the tremendous gifts carried to the West through Malidoma Somé and Sobonfu Somé, and the gifts that continue to arrive through other Dagara leaders.

QUESTIONS

For questions or inquiries, please contact Rain:

admin@hearthwoodsanctuary.earth

SUGGESTED RESOURCES

These resources are suggested rather than required:

Before We Were White

My Grandmother’s Hands

Reclaiming Our Indigenous European Roots

Malidoma Somé: Grief, Ritual and Sacrifice

Sobonfu Somé: Grieving and Recovery

Pre- and Post-Care for Grief Ritual

Grief and Praise with Martin Prechtel